Clinton demands Mars be seated

Dateline: Kennedy Space Center, June 4, 2008:

Hillary Clinton announced that her campaign would continue "...until
every Martian voice is heard and respected." Pointing out that, as of
yet, no Martian delegates had been selected, "No one can say they have
won the nomination until each and every state -- red states, blue
states and little green states, have been heard from!"

(It gets even stranger after the cut)

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Senator Clinton then forced her way onto the launchpad and into the
cockpit of the Space Shuttle Atlantis. She demanded to be flown to
Mars and back "in time for the Credentials Committee meeting in July",
so that she could bear witness to the legitimate claims of
a disenfranchised Martian populace.

While NASA officials were debating what to do, the shuttle
unexpectedly launched. A new mission controller by the name of Dean
Howard, (who claimed on his now-publicly-released resume to have been
the head of some obscure committee or other) apparently accidently hit
the 'BLASTOFF' button. He apologized profusely to Bill and Chelsea
Clinton, the people of West Virginia, and the current residents of the
space station, the shuttle's pre-programmed destination.

Senator Clinton is not expected to be able to return until November
7th.

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