Would you believe it’s possible to narrow the reasons we won’t miss Bush down to 42? No, but it’s a start. We all know the penalty for forgetting history - after all, we’ve been through two Bushes! To get things started, here is a particularly infamous quote for each year of his presidency, from the sadly hilarious to the infuriatingly tragic:
2000: “If this were a dictatorship, it’d be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I’m the dictator.”
2001: “You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.”
2002: “There’s only one person who hugs the mothers and the widows, the wives and the kids upon the death of their loved one. Others hug but having committed the troops, I’ve got an additional responsibility to hug and that’s me and I know what it’s like.”
2003: “As you know, these are open forums, you’re able to come and listen to what I have to say.”
2004: “And so during these holiday seasons, we thank our blessings.”
2005: “It’s a myth to think I don’t know what’s going on. It’s a myth to think that I’m not aware that there’s opinions that don’t agree with mine, because I’m fully aware of that.”
2006: “Make no mistake about it: I understand how tough it is, sir. I talk to families who die.”
2007: “I don’t particularly like it when people put words in my mouth, either, by the way, unless I say it.”
2008: “There is no doubt in my mind when history was written, the final page will say: Victory was achieved by the United States of America for the good of the world.” –George W. Bush, addressing U.S. troops at Camp Arifjan in Kuwait, Jan. 12, 2008
Mission … what? OK, to be fair, the White House disclaimed responsibility for this particularly controversial snafu by indicating they were referring to the ‘invasion’ and not the ‘liberation’ of Iraq. Still, in the speech he gave under said banner Bush clearly stated that “In the Battle of Iraq, the United States and our allies have prevailed” Though the claim has been contested, one analyst has asserted that the White House later sought to erase the banner from videos of the speech and thus from history.
So OK, Iraq got off on the wrong track so you’d think the president would be better prepared for a new crises, particularly one on American soil, right? Well, as it turns out, while Katrina was devastating families the president was playing guitar and eating cake.
These Photoshopped images might be a bit extreme, but they do show the curious juxtaposition of what Bush was doing while others suffered simultaneously in New Orleans. And really: anyone who has seen Bush in action could almost imagine these being real.
The infamous Sydney hand wave. One has to wonder: is this his idea of non-conformity or just another classic display of Bush’s idiocy? With this president either seems possible, really, though the have-hearted manner in which he is lifting his hand and the mildly furrowed eyebrows suggest he genuinely might have confused right for left (which might explain his inability to work with either side of the political spectrum). The caught-on-camera moments are just too frustrating to end with, so here are some more classic Bushisms and quotes to round things out:
2001: “We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease.”
“I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport.”
“I couldn’t imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah.”
“For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It’s just unacceptable. And we’re going to do something about it.”
2002: “I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn’t here.”
“I don’t know why you’re talking about Sweden. They’re the neutral one. They don’t have an army.”
2003: “I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what’s moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves.”
“The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself.”
“Oh, no, we’re not going to have any casualties.”
“I’m the commander — see, I don’t need to explain — I do not need to explain why I say things. That’s the interesting thing about being president.”
“I’m also not very analytical. You know I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things.”
“I’m the master of low expectations.”
2004: “Tribal sovereignty means that; it’s sovereign. I mean, you’re a — you’ve been given sovereignty, and you’re viewed as a sovereign entity. And therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities.”
“I saw a poll that said the right track/wrong track in Iraq was better than here in America. It’s pretty darn strong. I mean, the people see a better future.”
2005: “Americans should be prudent in their use of energy during the course of the next few weeks. Don’t buy gas if you don’t need it.”
2006: “The Patriot Act has increased the flow of information within our government and it has helped break up terrorist cells in the United States of America. And the United States Congress was right to renew the terrorist act — the Patriot Act.”
2007: “I heard somebody say, ‘Where’s (Nelson) Mandela?’ Well, Mandela’s dead. Because Saddam killed all the Mandelas.”
Finally, Letterman’s top 10 Bush moments. Enjoy!
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